When Jesus’ disciples asked Him which was the greatest commandment, He replied:
“Love the Lord your God with all your heart, soul, and mind—and love your neighbor as yourself.”
Most people would agree we need grace to strengthen our ability to love God, ourselves and others more deeply to keep a deeper union. Yet many consider this challenge as something reserved for heaven, rather than to cultivate here and now.
Sometimes we may feel a gentle nudge from God in the quiet of early morning-to pursue deeper connections with certain friends. But fear of the closeness that deeper friendships bring, or simply not knowing how, can hold us back from this experience.
This call to deeper friendship is echoed throughout scripture. In fact, approximately 30% of scriptures are related to Gods teaching us how to succeed in relationships and inspirational examples like David and Johnathan, and Ruth and Naomi. In this wallet card, we call these Front Row Friendships. But in western Christianity, these are seldom practiced. Instead, we settle for what we call second and third-row friendships-which are valuable-but they don’t offer the same depth and accelerated growth as Front Row Friendships.
Some people who have taken up God’s challenge to pursue deeper Front Row Friendships say they did so reluctantly, feeling unqualified or afraid of the pain that can result from being more honest and vulnerable with others. But after experiencing Front Row Friendships, many testify that the intimacy and strength they experienced far outweighed the costs.
It’s important to note this kind of relationship is so important to God, that even our smallest efforts to move in this direction catch His attention: He meets us with His enabling grace.
What kinds of thoughts come up for you about Front Row Friendship?
Let’s continue.
Of all the different kinds of relationships people experience, Scriptures teaches us that Front Row Friendships are the most significant. They evoke a unique maturing process and help us tap into the reservoir of potential God implanted within us.
Imagine your life as a theatre. You stand in the front looking out at the rows of seating and consider where you place your friends and yourself. Many friends may be in the second or third row or even further back. You may have a Front Row Friendship or two but most of us do not.
Front Row Friends connect deeply allowing for mutual support on life’s journey. They share and allow close bonds similar to what Jesus experienced with His disciples.
Your Front Row Friends are spiritual and emotional first responders. They know when you’re on the mountain top and can celebrate success with you. And they also can discern when you’re in the valley and commit to being there with you, and may also help you gain meaning and value from hardship.
So, how do you know when it’s time to seek these deeper connections?
There are many ways people come to realize the need for a Front Row Friendship. The most common catalyst is life’s pain. CS Lewis said God speaks with His megaphone in our pain to grab our attention and awaken us to awareness and beneficial change. These signs might be loud and sudden, like thunder, or quiet, like gentle rain. Here are some common reasons for Front Row Friendships:
Do you recognize any of these signs in your life?
Let’s explore how Front Row Friendships work.
Do you recognize any of these signs in your life?
Let’s explore how Front Row Friendships work.
Now that we better understand Front Row Friendships, let’s examine where you place your current friendships, based on the eight practices outlined in section D.
Front Row Friendships believe in and are eager to grow in all eight practices listed in section D—even though they may struggle with some, they remain committed. Front Row Friendships are not commonly experienced by most people.
If you have Front Row Friends list them here:_________________________________________
Second Row Friendships most often will not include the behaviors outlined in practices numbered 4, 5, 6, and 7, as listed in Section “D”.
Write your Second Row Friends here: ________________________________________________
Third Row Friendships may have many similarities to second row friendships, except for less commitment to growth in the relationship.
Write your Third Row Friends here ___________________________________________________
Rows Further Back: We don’t get to choose all the people who sit in our theater, such as family, friends or workmates. But we do choose where they sit, including further back as discussed in the manual.
Front Row Friendship blessings go beyond what we discuss to this point. Picture a triangle with God at the top, you on one side, and your Front Row Friend on the other. As you grow together, you both move up and get closer to each other — and God.
But ignoring God’s call to have this type of friendship means missing out on the many benefits they can bring in your life.
Let’s look at other ways Front Row Friendships impact our lives:
Maximize Potential: Social scientists are now affirming the Biblical evidence on how deeper friendships are critical for mental well-being, your maturing process, and tapping into the reservoir of potential God implanted within you.
Growing Together: When two friends deeply connect, something amazing happens. The person needing help finds the encouragement motivating, and the person giving help finds a deep sense of purpose.
God’s Growth process is ignited in Front Row Friendships and this maturing strengthens the Body of Christ.
Strengthening the Body of Christ: The ordinary men who Jesus called into His Front Row were transformed by their integrated lives. Their growth had a profound impact not only on them—but all of history.
Even though Front Row Friendships offer so much, some people still fear them.
Let’s explore why that happens.
Here are some common reasons why we might struggle to step into and maintain Front Row Friendships. See if any of these feel true for you:
Lack of Modelling: I’ve never seen examples of this kind of friendship, so it’s hard to imagine.
Fear of Emotional Openness: Getting really close to someone is an emotionally awkward experience.
Past Hurt and Abandonment: I’ve been hurt by people who I have trusted, and now it’s hard to trust others.
Fear of Vulnerability: Letting people really know the real me makes me worry they’ll see I’m not who they expect. Or worse, the deeply hidden parts of me will be exposed.
Relational Apathy: I just don’t feel like I have the energy to try for deeper friendships.
Social Anxiety: Being close to others makes me feel nervous and unsure.
But be encouraged! It is possible to overcome these barriers.
Let’s look at practical ideas and support to help you get started.
“We are, all of us, utterly committed and deeply devoted to our style, our way, our approach to life. We have absolutely no intention of giving it up. Not even for love. So God creates an environment where we have to. It’s called Front Row Friendship or marriage”